Burma Shave – 2

Burma Shave

 

Train approaching
Whistle squealing
Pause!
Avoid that
Rundown feeling!
Burma-Shave
Soap
May do
For lads with fuzz
But sir, you ain’t
The kid you wuz
Burma-Shave
Spring
Has sprung
The grass has riz
Where last year’s
Careless drivers is
Burma-Shave
Cautious rider
To her
Reckless dear
Let’s have less bull
And lots more steer
Burma-Shave
Big blue tube
It’s a honey
Best squeeze play
For love
Or money
Burma-Shave
Proper
Distance
To him was bunk
They pulled him out
Of some guy’s trunk
Burma-Shave
My cheek
Says she
Feels smooth as satin
Ha! Ha! Says he
That’s mine you’re pattin’
Burma-Shave
She eyed
His beard
And said no dice
The wedding’s off–
I’ll COOK the rice
Burma-Shave
Unless
Your face
Is stinger free
You’d better let
Your honey be
Burma-Shave
Another
Red skin
Bit the dust
When Pa tried
What these signs discussed
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The band
For which
The grand stand roots
Is not made up of
Substi-toots!
Burma-Shave
Substitutes
Can do
More harm
Than city fellers
On a farm
Burma-Shave
Pat’s bristles
Scratched
Bridget’s nose
That’s when
Her wild Irish rose
Burma-Shave
A beard
That’s rough
And overgrown
Is better than
A chaperone
Burma-Shave
The hobo
Lets his
Whiskers sprout
It’s trains–not girls
That he takes out
Burma-Shave
Drinking drivers
Don’t you know
Great bangs
From little
Binges grow?
Burma-Shave
I know
He’s a wolf
Said riding hood
But Grandma dear,
He smells so good
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The wife
Who keeps on
Being kissed
Always heads
Her shopping list
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Is he
Lonesome
Or just blind–
This guy who drives
So close behind?
Burma-Shave
Pedro
Walked
Back home by golly
His bristly chin
Was hot-to-Molly
Burma-Shave
Missin’ Kissin’?
Perhaps your thrush
Can’t get thru
The underbrush–try
Burma-Shave
Clancy’s
Whiskers
Tickle Nancy
Nancy lowered the boom
On Clancy!
Burma-Shave
A chin
Where barbed wire
Bristles stand
Is bound to be
A no ma’ams land
Burma-Shave
Leaves
Face soft
As woman’s touch
Yet doesn’t cost you
Near as much
Burma-Shave
We can’t
Provide you
With a date
But we do supply
The best darn bait
Burma-Shave
The wolf
Is shaved
So neat and trim
Red Riding Hood
Is chasing him
Burma-Shave
Relief
For faces
Chapped and sore
Keeps ’em comin’
Back for more
Burma-Shave
His
Tomato
Was the mushy type
Until his beard
Grew over-ripe
Burma-Shave
Heaven’s
Latest
Neophyte
Signalled left
Then turned right
Burma-Shave
Better try
Less speed per mile
That car
May have to
Last a while
Burma-Shave