Burma Shave – 3

Burma Shave

 

To steal
A kiss
He had the knack
But lacked the cheek
To get one back
Burma-Shave
We’ve made
Grandpa
Look so trim
The local
Draft board’s after him
Burma-Shave
Why is it
When you
Try to pass
The guy in front
Goes twice as fast?
Burma-Shave
His rose
Is wed
His violet blew
But his sugar is sweet
Since he took this cue
Burma-Shave
She put
A bullet
Thru his hat
But he’s had
Closer shaves than that
Burma-Shave
5-star
Generals
Privates 1st class
Show equal rank
In the looking-glass
Burma-Shave
When you lay
Those few cents down You’ve bought
The smoothest
Shave in town
Burma-Shave
Substitutes
Are like a girdle
They find some jobs
They just
Can’t hurdle
Burma-Shave
We’re widely read
And often quoted
But it’s shaves
Not signs
For which we’re noted
Burma-Shave
Men who
Have to
Travel light
Find the 35 cent tube
Just right
Burma-Shave
It gave
McDonald
That needed charm
Hello Hollywood
Good-by farm
Burma-Shave
A shave
That’s real
No cuts to heal
A soothing
Velvet after-feel
Burma-Shave
Around
The curve
Lickety-split
It’s a beautiful car
Wasn’t it?
Burma-Shave
Our fortune
Is your
Shaven face
It’s our best
Advertising space
Burma-Shave
If Crusoe’d
Kept his chin
More tidy
He might have found
A lady Friday
Burma-Shave
Feel your face
As you ride by
Now don’t
You think
It’s time to try
Burma-Shave
If anything
Will please
Your Jill
A little jack
For this jar will
Burma-Shave
That barefoot
Chap
With cheeks of tan
Won’t let ’em chap
When he’s a man
Burma-Shave
If harmony
Is what
You crave
Then get
A tuba
Burma-Shave
The bearded devil
Is forced
To dwell
In the only place
Where they don’t sell
Burma-Shave
“No, no,”
She said
To her bristly beau
“I’d rather
Eat the mistletoe”
Burma-Shave
No matter
The price
No matter how new
The best safety device
In your car is you
Burma-Shave
He asked
His kitten
To pet and purr
She eyed his puss
And screamed
“What fur!”
Burma-Shave
This cream
Makes the
Gardener’s daughter
Plant her tu-lips
Where she oughter
Burma-Shave
Toughest
Whiskers
In the town
We hold ’em up
You mow ’em down
Burma-Shave
These signs
Are not
For laughs alone
The face they save
May be your own
Burma-Shave
The hero
Was brave and strong
And willin’
She felt his chin–
Then wed the villain
Burma-Shave
The safest rule
No ifs or buts
Just drive
Like every one else
Is nuts!
Burma-Shave
Dinah doesn’t
Treat him right
But if he’d
Shave
Dyna-mite!
Burma-Shave
To change that
Shaving job
To joy
You gotta use
The real McCoy
Burma-Shave