• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Fifities Web
  • Fashion
    • 1950s Women’s Fashion
    • 1950s Men’s Fashion
    • 1960s Women’s Fashion
    • 1960s Men’s Fashion
  • Celebrity Deaths
    • 2023 Deaths
    • 2022 Deaths
    • 2021 Deaths
    • 2020 Deaths (Covid-19)
    • Other years..
  • Cars
    • 1950s Cars
    • 1960s Cars
    • 1970s Cars
  • TV
    • Classic Directory
    • TV Westerns
    • Wagon Train
  • Music
    • 1950s Music
    • 1960s Music
    • Elvis 50s
  • Pop History
    • 1950s Pop History
    • 1960s Pop History
    • Fads / Toys
    • 1950s Slang
    • 1960s Slang
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
Fifities Web

Fifities Web

1950s and 1960s Music, TV, History, Fashion, Slang, Cars and so much more...

  • Fashion
    • 1950s Women’s Fashion
    • 1950s Men’s Fashion
    • 1960s Women’s Fashion
    • 1960s Men’s Fashion
  • Celebrity Deaths
    • 2023 Deaths
    • 2022 Deaths
    • 2021 Deaths
    • 2020 Deaths (Covid-19)
    • Other years..
  • Cars
    • 1950s Cars
    • 1960s Cars
    • 1970s Cars
  • TV
    • Classic Directory
    • TV Westerns
    • Wagon Train
  • Music
    • 1950s Music
    • 1960s Music
    • Elvis 50s
  • Pop History
    • 1950s Pop History
    • 1960s Pop History
    • Fads / Toys
    • 1950s Slang
    • 1960s Slang
  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
FiftiesWeb.com » Pop » Twas the Night Before Christmas (Attorney’s Version)

Twas the Night Before Christmas (Attorney’s Version)

by Michael Rich — Updated: August 5, 2023 Comment

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit

Excerpted from the NEA Journal, December 1960

Whereas, on an occasion immediately
        preceding the Nativity festival, throughout a certain dwelling unit,
        quiet descended, in which could be heard no disturbance, not even the
        sound emitted by a diminutive rodent related to, and in form resembling,
        a rat; and 
        
        Whereas, the offspring of the occupants had affixed their tubular,
        closely knit coverings for the nether limbs to the flue of the fireplace
        in expectation that a personage known as St.Nicholas would arrive; and 
        
        Whereas, said offspring had become somnolent, and were entertaining re:
        saccharine-flavored fruit; and 
        
        Whereas, the adult male of the family, et ux, attired in proper
        headgear, had also become quiescent in anticipation of nocturnal
        inertia; and 
        
        Whereas, a distraction on the snowy acreage outside aroused the owner to
        investigate; and Whereas, he perceived in a most unbelieving manner a
        vehicle propelled by eight domesticated quadrapeds of a species found in
        arctic regions; and 
        
        Whereas, a most odd rotund gentleman was entreating the aforesaid
        animals by their appellations, as follows: 
        
        "Your immediate co-operation is requested. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer,
        and Vixen; and collective action by you will be much appreciated, Comet,
        Cupid, Donder, and Blitzen"; and
        
        Whereas, subsequent to the above, there occurred a swift descent to the
        hearth by the aforementioned gentleman, where he proceeded to deposit
        gratuities in the aforementioned tubular coverings.
        
        Now, therefore, be ye advised: that upon completion of these acts, and
        upon his return to his original point of departure, he proclaimed a
        felicitation of the type prevalent and suitable to these occasions, ie:
        
        Merry Christmas to All and to All a Good Night!

‘Twas the Night Index
Christmas Main Page

© 2010-2015 Michael Rich.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit

Did I miss anything? If so, please send me a message or leave a comment below!

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Christmas

  • Christmas Carols
  • Twas the Night Before Christmas
  • Old Time Recipes
  • Poinsettias
  • Yes, Virgina, there is a Santa Claus

Footer

  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

SEARCH THIS SITE

NEVER MISS A POST

Categories

  • Cars
  • Celebrity Deaths
  • Fashion
  • TV
  • Music
  • Fads & Toys
  • Pop History
  • Slang
  • Privacy Statement
  • Useful Links
  • Sitemap
  • About
  • Contact
  • Bibliography

Fifities Web
Online since 1996

FiftiesWeb is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

Pictures, clips, and other media on FiftiesWeb are used fairly. The original creator keeps all copyrights. Unless noted, FiftiesWeb doesn't claim to own any of it.
FiftiesWeb is not endorsed or sponsored by or affiliated with any of the products, services, programs, celebrities or entities mentioned on the website. We try our best to offer good educational information.

© Copyright 1996-2023. FiftiesWeb.com All rights reserved.

DMCA.com Protection Status