Burma Shave – 1

Burma Shave

 

His cheek
Was rough
His chick vamoosed
And now she won’t
Come home to roost
Burma-Shave
The place to pass
On curves
You know
Is only at
A beauty show
Burma-Shave
On curves ahead
Remember, sonny
That rabbit’s foot
Didn’t save
The bunny
Burma-Shave
Twinkle, twinkle
One-eyed car
We all wonder
WHERE you are
Burma-Shave
These signs
We gladly
Dedicate
To men who’ve had
No date of late
Burma-Shave
A guy
Who drives
A car wide open
Is not thinkin’
He’s just hopin’
Burma-Shave
A whiskery kiss
For the one
You adore
May not make her mad
But her face will be sore
Burma-Shave
His brush is gone
So what’ll we do
Said Mike Robe I
To Mike Robe II
Burma-Shave
If your peach
Keeps out
Of reach
Better practice
What we preach
Burma-Shave
When Super-shaved
Remember, pard
You’ll still get slapped
But not so hard
Burma-Shave
Burma-Shave
Was such a boom
They passed
The bride
And kissed the groom
To kiss
A mug
That’s like a cactus
Takes more nerve
Than it does practice
Burma-Shave
The whale
Put Jonah
Down the hatch
But coughed him up
Because he scratched
Burma-Shave
Violets are blue
Roses are pink
On graves
Of those
Who drive and drink
Burma-Shave
Candidate says
Campaign
Confusing
Babies kiss me
Since I’ve been using
Burma-Shave
My job is
Keeping faces clean
And nobody knows
De stubble
I’ve seen
Burma-Shave
Doesn’t
Kiss you
Like she useter?
Perhaps she’s seen
A smoother rooster!!
Burma-Shave
No use
Knowing
How to pick ’em
If your half-shaved Whiskers stick ’em
Burma-Shave
He tried
To cross
As fast train neared
Death didn’t draft him
He volunteered
Burma-Shave
Her chariot
Raced 80 per
They hauled away
What had
Ben Her
Burma-Shave
She will
Flood your face
With kisses ‘Cause you smell
So darn delicious
Burma-Shave Lotion
Use Burma-Shave
In tube
Or jar
Then follow up
With our new star
Burma-Shave Lotion
It has a tingle
And a tang
That starts
The day off
With a bang Burma-Shave
Lotion
Bracing as
An ocean breeze
For after shaving
It’s sure
To please
Burma-Shave Lotion
For early
Morning
Pep and bounce
A brand new product
We announce
Burma-Shave Lotion
The ladies
Take one whiff
And purr–
It’s no wonder
Men prefer
Burma-Shave Lotion
His face
Was smooth
And cool as ice
And oh! Louise!
He smelled so nice
Burma-Shave Lotion
I’d heard it praised
By drug store clerks
I tried the stuff
Hot dog!
It works
Burma-Shave
Train wrecks few
Reason clear
Fireman
Never hugs
Engineer
Burma-Shave
Altho insured
Remember, kiddo
They don’t pay you
They pay
Your widow
Burma-Shave